Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Ty-fighters.......Day 8/Cycle 2

My most recent blood draw yesterday revealed another small decrease in my blast %(a.k.a. storm troopers) I dropped from 8% last friday to 4%. Small victories are cherished, and it was the best birthday present I could have hoped for. The ty-fighters seem to be gaining momentum.....at least for now, and I can tell you how happy it makes me. The preliminary results of last weeks bone marrow draw are not available yet, but I am looking for them to come in soon. Im still getting platelet and red blood cell infusions usually every other day. Its been somewhat difficult spending so much time at the clinics, but it doesnt take long for me when I look around to realize it could be much worse! There are so many people in various stages of treatment in Houston, Seattle and of course all over the world. At SCCA you can always tell when people are in absolute misery. Ive been there and I know how it feels........I dont want to ever get back to that place where not only are you faced with a physical battle, but you also are staring straight into an intense psychological battle.

Its so easy to focus on "Why me?" Its very easy to struggle with the idea of "What did I do to deserve this?" This disease and so many other horrible cancers can take their toll on the mind, the heart, and the soul. Its been awhile since Ive had the intense version of the psychological battle, and I truly feel the reason is #1 Mandy. I also give massive credit to all that follow our struggles and our joy. The comments we receive, the well wishes, the prayers.......the endless support are also a huge factor. I also have to mention all my other caregivers who drop everything on their plate to be with me when I need them. My Seattle doctor Vivian Oehler has been amazing!.....the SCCA staff, my nurse Laura, scheduling staff at SCCA, all my infusion nurses! The nursing staff in Houston, and of course my Houston doctor, Dr. Cortes. I also want to send out a thank you to the Portland staff that I never truly got to know, but who have treated Hans so well and wanted me to be with them and the Ariad trial. Im also thinking about another friend who I imagine is staring straight into the psychological battle that occurs during radiation treatment.....Yanni my best wishes and thoughts are with you!! Jeff and Renee, I hope you have found some form of enlightenment with your second and maybe third opinions.

I feel like Im on a massive team trying to rescue me from the grips of this horrible disease! Right now Im in a pretty good place, despite having a compromised immune system with few good white blood cells to stave off infections. I have to be careful. I have to avoid situations where I can easily get sick. This usually means avoiding crowds, avoiding being around young children who seem to always be in various phases of being sick or even parents who are around those who are sick. I miss being able to spend time with my nieces and nephews, and watch them grow bigger. Unfortunately Ive missed being able to go to almost all of this years Sounder games, missed many thursday night dinners at my dads with those in my family that I dont get to spend a lot of time with. I miss all of my Ballard friends, I miss all of my soccer friends, I miss all of my friends at Childrens hospital.I miss being able to make travel plans with my wife, to all of my poker buddies.....I miss you! I miss being able to golf for the last two months, and I miss football at Lukes with three games going at once. My goal is get back to a place in which I dont need to miss any of these things and many others!

Clear eyes.......Full Hearts....Can't Lose!!


1 comment:

  1. Tyler,

    You've been such an inspiration to me. I am not in a good place right now, but I believe because of you. Thank you for that. I don't like the fact I know you because we share the same disease, but boy, am I glad that I know you.